(W)hen people are allowed to make their own choices, they feel empowered and alive. When we have no choice…our energy ebbs.”
~Rock and Page, Coaching with the Brain in Mind
Most coaches are trained to assist the client in shifting a limiting or stuck perspective, or in neuroscience terms, reappraising a circumstance for emotional regulation (emotional regulation being a neuroscience term for calming the heck down). As we all know, while there are things in life that we can’t necessarily change, we do have the power to shift how we look at them, and that can often be very empowering, freeing, and even transformational. In fact, one of my neuroscience instructors once said he thought the ability to change our perspective is the single most important life skill for resiliency he could think of.
By opening to new possibilities, coaches can help the client come to a place of choice and develop actions and accountabilities from there. While the idea of reappraisal can be used very simply by asking a question such as “what would be another way of looking at that?” often the client needs a more comprehensive process when they are feeling stuck. Best practice in helping coaching clients find a new, more empowering way of looking at things might follow this sort of process*:
- Start with first clarifying the concept that having a perspective on something may be limiting their choices, and, as mentioned above, while we may not be able to change all circumstances, we can change our view of them.
- Next, get very clear on what their topic is. This is critical to the process because often a perspective in embedded in the topic and for this method of coaching to work, they need to be pulled apart. For example, “Not being far enough in my career,” is a perspective (not being far enough) on a topic (my career).
- Help the client identify and explore their current perspective–this is important so that client has the chance to bring to the surface and be present to where they are. The current perspective may not be in full awareness unless you do this, and may feel to the client as simply “how it is.” Exploration of the topic might include having the client check in on how the perspective makes them feel, what they think, say or do when they look at their topic from here) embody the perspective (how they stand, sit or move in this perspective), and/or check in with their internal state as they look at their topic from this perspective.
- Help the client “try on” and explore a series of different perspectives. What would their topic potentially look like from different viewpoints? Have client explore each one as in #3 above. It can be helpful to have the client move their body physically to a new place in the room with each new perspective.
- After ideally exploring at least two new perspectives (an experienced coach trainer once told me that less than that feels to the clients like options rather than choices), the coach asks the client to choose the perspective that feels empowering, one they can honestly stand in going forward. The coach then helps the client create an action plan from this new perspective and the client moves into action and reports back to the coach.
Each aspect of this process helps our clients to become calmer and more centered. In steps three and four, the client is allowed to notice that both their the initial perspective as well as subsequent “optional” perspectives are, as neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner says, “interpretation(s) of the world that need not define (them).” An expert in cognitive reappraisal and emotional regulation, Ochsner notes in one paper that “amygdala activity drops during reappraisal, suggesting that reappraisal is successful in changing what the amygdala ‘sees’ – that is, it no longer detects an arousing and aversive event.” The amygdala — a small almond shaped part of the brain in the limbic area — plays a critical role in scanning for threats and activating “fight or flight” mode, thus, keeping it calm is an important aspect of emotional regulation.
Additionally, when the client is asked to notice their body’s responses as well as their thoughts and attitudes in each perspective, it brings in an aspect of mindfulness as (ideally) the client simply focuses attention on what is there, describing it without judgment. The research on mindfulness and attention suggests that even something as simple as focusing on what is right here, right now, can be highly beneficial in managing stress and regulating the brain.
Sometimes coaches get into a place of wanting to help the client find the “right” new perspective as they explore possibilities, but this actually isn’t needed. Generally, the client’s thinking is becoming more flexible and open as the process continues, leaving them more able to find an empowering way forward. This is because the act of trying on a new way of looking at something recruits activity in the prefrontal cortex — they have to actively think about it — and when the prefrontal cortex is activated, it typically secretes GABA, which is a powerful inhibitory neurotransmitter. In other words, the impact of stress diminishes as perspectives are explored.
Another interesting thing to note is that many studies have shown that we have a marked preference for the status quo when making decisions, as the brain saves energy when it can do and think what it has already done and thought. When the client is asked to “try on,” that is, somatically, emotionally and intellectually inhabit, a number of new perspectives, it creates new potential neural pathways. This is why spending some time exploring each perspective helps the client. It’s fairly well validated that our brains don’t “know” the difference between what is real and what is imagined (for example, releasing stress hormones when watching a scary movie even though we ourselves are not being threatened in any way), it makes sense that imagining with powerful resonance a new way of looking at something feels to the brain as if it is real.** Thus, when the client is asked to make a choice, it could be that the status quo bias has been moderated somewhat and they are actually truly able to choose more freely.
When the client actively chooses a new perspective, this tends to reinterpret the meaning of the issue or event in a way that changes its emotional impact. Again, this drops activity in the amygdala, thus enabling the client to see more clearly their options and create a plan for achieving them. In addition, the deep and thoughtful process for identifying, embodying, and choosing outlined above inevitably brings the client to a new state of calmness, creativity and insight.
Anecdotal evidence (and my own experience in working with reappraisal for over ten years) also shows that the essential neuroplasticity of the brain enables us to build what seem to be neural pathways for reappraisal. In other words, coaches report that their more experienced clients have learned to automatically reappraise a situation, showing up on a coaching call saying things like, “I got hooked, but then I told myself to look at it another way.” I myself have seen my ability to reappraise go from a conscious, often laborious process to become almost instantaneous when I encounter a stressor. For example, I used to fume when cut off in traffic. Now I find myself thinking “That’s ok, two seconds won’t make any difference to me and I am glad there was no accident.”
Happy reappraising, everyone!
* This is based on the process taught by The Co-Active Training Institute (CTI) called “Balance Coaching”
**The power of visualization is well-known in the world of sports, where it common for athletes to imagine a golf swing or ski run prior to competition. It is likely we have not even begun to tap the potential of this aspect of our brains. In The Brain that Changes Itself, Norman Doidge cites numerous studies proving the power of visualization, from enhancing piano expertise to actually developing stronger muscles. (Doidge, 2007)
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